The other day, I picked up some shooting games called Deathsmiles and Sin and Punishment 2: Star Successor.

I was under the impression that these were arcade shooters. I was prepared for it to not be like Modern Warfare 2, but I figured it would be like Ikaruga or something. The same people made that awesome arcade puzzle-shooter, so the chances should have been high right?

Nothing could prepare me for how wrong I was.

I turned on my Nintendo Wii Entertainment System and popped out the disc for Wii Sports (I am an ultimate tennis champion, and am practicing to be in the olympics one day). After I put Sin and Punishment 2 in the system, I felt a chill run down my spine.

So I start playing this so-called “arcade shooter” expecting it to be kind of like Area 51, and it was slightly similar. You start out and you can pick from a slightly masculine girl, or a more obvious girl. (Then again, most characters in Japanese games look like girls except in Fist of the North Star). I picked the one that looked more like a dude. According to the manual, Kachi had auto-aim. I think auto-aim makes you look less manly, so I picked the one where I got to actually play the game. I guess Nintendo forced that option into the game, since they know there are so many casuals playing silly games like Metroid and MadWorld who whine and complain if you don’t give them an easy way out.

Me on the other hand, I prefer to do things the 80s way. You know, kick ass and take names without the help of some poorly-written AI.

Proceeding my character selection, I had begun to play the game. It was kinda nice, I got to shoot and kill things. It was a little awkward at first because you had to juggle between flying around and walking around. Treasure (the developer) should make up its mind. There are two kinds of gamer. Those who want to fly around in sci-fi jetpacks, and those who want to walk around while killing hordes of enemies. Treasure should know that everyone who wants to walk around is playing Modern Warfare 2 or Bad Company 2. It’s just common sense. Perhaps there was something lost in translation. In case you couldn’t tell, this is a Japanese game. Japanese people aren’t always the most adept when it comes to making games American gamers want to play.

There were a few cool parts in the training level where I had to jump over different things and dodge lasers. I didn’t like it, but thankfully walking is optional for most of the game.

Sin and Punishment 2 isn’t a bad game. It’s just full of itself. I suppose this is what happens when arcades are a dying breed. No developer can seem to emulate that feeling at home. I also feel let down that the game said it utilized Nintendo’s Wi-fi connection, but only used it for leaderboards. I was hoping for some online co-op so I could totally frag some alien ass with my mates over in Melbourne. No dice.

The next game I got this summer that was supposed to be an ‘arcade shooter’ is called Deathsmiles. I saw some screenshots and it looked cool. It was like R-Type or Ikaruga (my favorite) sort of game with bullets and aliens and such.

I got the package in the mail, and I immediately regretted the purchase. The back of the box said “Deathsmiles at us all. Lolis smile back.” I thought that the lolis were going to be the ones getting death rained down upon them glorious fury in this Xbox 360 exclusive! Like usual, I was wrong. Dead wrong.

In this game you have to play as the lolis! You see, I have much disdain for Gothic Lolita culture. Nearly every lolita I’ve encountered is an ice queen. I figured I’d get to bloody them up or something.

Cave, the developer, doesn’t understand what Americans want. At least Treasure understood the object of our desire, just not the proper location.

Not only does it force you to play as the bane of American society, the game is also pretty short. This should’ve been  1200 points on Xbox Live Arcade. I mean, if a game like Ikaruga can be up there, I don’t see why Deathsmiles can’t be. It’s not like Microsoft charges per bullet. Granted, the limited edition of the game was pretty nice. Soundtracks and a faceplate are always appreciated.

I suppose that was Aksys’ (the publisher) way of trying to calm you down after realizing how short the game is. RPG fans will also be pleased to know that there is a decent amount of choice-making. It’s surprising to see more choice-making in this game than in other popular jRPGs such as Final Fantasy XIII.

The one cool part about Deathsmiles is that you get to defeat a final boss called Tyrannosatan. As a devout Christian and a purveyor of justice, I find the concept of destroying a Satanic dinosaur to be very gratifying. It’s like I’m the one telling Satan not to tempt me while I’m trying to fast in the desert!

I’m not going to tell you to avoid either of these games. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. I wanted to have a summer filled with arcade-style shooting action and was left unsatisfied.