As I slowly reach down into your pocket, I feel a warm sensation from a plastic vibrator. To my shock, your hand touches mine as I try to escape. You push the button. The screen turns on.

I melt.

Then I put my finger on your Angry Birds, and you touch your Epic Citadel as you continue to stretch your vapid Noby Noby Boy around my universe.

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 40 - Is That A Game In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? [01:24:10m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (121)

Intro
US WEEKLY: Gay Bars, Racist Wendy’s, etc.
Remembering Satoshi Kon
Segment: Miniature Gaming, Xbox Indie Titles, PSP Minis, Ipod Gaming
Music: Katy Perry, MGMT, M.I.A, CEE-LO, in the aeroplane over the sea, Scott Pilgrim OST,
Anime: Detroit Metal City, DoujinWorks
Gaming: Magna Carta 2, Halo 3, The Legendary Starfy, BAYONETTA, Shank, Vanquish Demo,
Movies/TV: Girl With Dragon Tattoo, Leap Year, COLLEGE INC, Kick Ass, Veronica Mars, New Season of Pitchmen
ScreenShirts

This week, I did away with themes and decided to just do a random 20 song selection from my hard drive. Strangely, there’s a good chunk of Japanese music. There’s everything from the Blood Brothers to Tainted Love to 70s Japanese pop singers. It’s going to be an all-around good time!

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 39.5 - In No Particular Order [1:13:29m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (102)

Playlist:

So I was at the doctor’s office getting an epidural when I started thing about things I used to for fun before I got knocked up by Satan and was forced to have his baby because of my manipulative landlords. My mind starting flooding with cool ideas. Things like talking into a microphone and joking with friends about things we like but pretend to hate.

Then I realized how much I was dilating, and I had to give birth.

This is the result.

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Google wave is dying at the end of the year! Let’s show Google how wrong they were by like…using it a whole lot. Yeah.

 39 - Rise From Your Grave [1:36:44m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (201)

Show notes:
Intro

Housekeeping

BlayzBloo for DSiWare flips the traditional premise of BlazBlue on its head.

Instead of technical prowess and hi-res 2D sprites that the series prides itself on, along comes a game that is something you can play on the go without practicing for 20 hours a day.

BlayzBloo is a four-on-four 3D arena fighter in the vein of Power Stone. There are weapons, power-ups, and everything you’d come to expect from a standard fighter of this style.

Each round has a different setting. Some are fights to death, and some are to see who has the most points at the end of a match. While the game only offers a few diverse styles of gameplay and limited character selection, I’d say it’s worth the 500 Nintendo Points. The novelty of playing with cute BlazBlue characters and thwapping them on the head instead of learning combos simply feels right on the handheld.

Arc System Works has released portable iterations of their fighters on handhelds before, and they never really sat well with me. Guilty Gear Dust Strikers was god-awful, and all the Guilty Gear games on the PSP suffered from poor console design which is no fault of Arc System Works.

I can safely say that the developers finally got a four player handheld game right. Instead of trying too hard to be like its counterpart, it did something different. No, not something too different like in Guilty Gear Isuka or Dust Strikers. The game is not nearly as off-putting as those two.

Instead, one can find themselves picking up and playing this game with friends and just having fun. The game brings back the innocence of old arcade brawlers and mixes it with the atmosphere of games like Super Smash Bros. It’s not a serious game. There’s no story and there’s no gimmicks. For anyone looking for a guiltless novelty title with a few of your favorite deformed BlazBlue characters, I definitely recommend you pick this one up.

Only having seen Scott Pilgrim in the form of user’s avatars on certain forums, I had no idea what I was getting into.

Then I found out Paul Robertson was doing the sprite work. Then I found out Anamanaguchi was doing the soundtrack. If there really was such a thing as a “nerdgasm”, I believe I had one.

Upon hearing this, I proceeded to pre-order the game from Ubisoft’s website. I was also supposed to get a bonus Playstation Home Sex Bob-omb t-shirt. I liked all three of these things, so I decided I had to at least help support the artist and the musicians.

This is the part where I’m supposed to say “BIG MISTAKE” in big bold letters to signify how wrong I was for buying a game on such shallow premises.

The game isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s pretty enjoyable. I haven’t read the comic book, so I can’t comment on how well it follows that.

Read more

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that surprises you. This will be one of them.

Michael Cera plays Scott Pilgrim in the new movie “Scott Pilgrim VS. The World” based on the eponymous graphic novel of the same name.

At first, I was discouraged to see this film.  I knew nothing of Scott Pilgrim. I only played the game which came out the Tuesday prior to the movie release. All my nerd friends kept talking about it, but nobody I trust would say much about the movie itself. After watching it, I can understand why. A franchise such as this merits a loss for words.

I’ll admit, I’m hot and cold when it comes to Michael Cera. I don’t have a blind hatred for him like I with the Johnny Depp and Tim Burton duo of evil, but I usually wait until his movies are available to rent. This one was different, there was much peer pressure.

My main problem with Michael Cera is that he can’t act, at least not in many diverse roles. He seems to have typecasted himself. Of late, his films have been getting better. “Youth in Revolt” being an example of him branching out into different styles of acting.

This isn’t about Michael Cera. This is about Scott Pilgrim, which was the most enjoyable movie I’ve seen all summer.

At first, I was afraid it would be one of those too serious indie-hipster sorts of films. This film maintains a healthy dose of video game and TV references to keep people happy, but it also has a great deal of substance and style. It’s a happy movie about somewhat serious things.

The plot is relatively simple. Scott Pilgrim meets a girl named Ramona Flowers and starts to date her. As the movie progresses, it turns out that she has a league of evil ex-suitors that have an express desire to end Scott’s life. In the midst of all this is a nice blend of action, romantic comedy, genuine comedy, video game references, exotic hair colors, and larger than life  fight scenes. All this comes together to form a very enjoyable movie.

The most brilliant aspect of this movie is its scope. Even the premise is relatively simple, this movie goes all over the place. It reminds me of the Metal ethos. To be the biggest, baddest, and most brutal out of the whole gang. This movie is exactly like that.

Except it’s not metal, and it’s not angry. Scott Pilgrim is a happy movie, but it’s brutally epic in all sorts of ways.

Scott Pilgrim VS The World struck a nerve into the backbone of modern geek culture. It’s finally a movie about geeks that doesn’t use the tired out plot device of struggling in the face of adversity due to being a geek. It’s a movie that can hit home for a lot of people, but doesn’t necessarily need to be seen by a geek to be enjoyed.

This movie isn’t some sort of boring nerd fest. No, it’s something that nerds can appreciate. There’s much more to it that just references. If you’ve never played a video game in your life, this movie will still get your attention with the awesome music segments, and the awesome fight scenes. Sure, you might not get the Dance Dance Revolution jokes, the coins, the leveling up, or the 1-ups, but even without all that the movie stands on its feet.

Some of you may remember a weekly video game podcast hosted by Jarrod Johnston, Andrew Eidson, and Dan Bailey that was created and discontinued in 2008.

The format of the show varied during different times of the year; however, the show’s most consistent segments were the “What have you been playing?” and “Pause or continue.” During said segments both Dan and Jarrod would debate various topics for a set time. Afterwards Andrew would declare a winner. Whomever had the most points at the end of the segment was deemed winner and was allowed to rant for a few minutes on whichever topic he chose.

The trio chose to end the show early Winter 2008 after turmoil regarding the show’s direction and work-related stress.

Jarrod (former PSnation co-host) has since retired from podcasting along with Dan Bailey. Andrew is currently co-host of the Black Flower Music podcast which can be found here.

It’s been discontinued for a little over two years now, taken off the internet, beaten with a stick, and laid to die out in the scorching sun. No, it’s not coming back. There will probably never be any new episodes.

Out of respect for the show, I have decided to archive all the episodes on last.fm. You can now stream, download, and listen to every episode the Pause or Continue crew have put out thanks to the brilliant technology over at last.fm.

Pause or Continue: Early Stages (includes 0, 0.5, 3/4, 0.9)

Pause or Continue Episodes 1-28 (including 18.5)

Hope you enjoy the shows! To be honest, I had never planned to upload these again. Over the years there seemed to be a few sprinkles of interest regarding the whereabouts of the podcast.

My town is crazy.

Murfreesboro has had a few strange events over the last five years I’ve lived here. We’ve had our radical preacher’s getting pushed around by butch lesbians, 20 feet tall displays of aborted fetuses, students setting themselves on fire in a dumpster, uber-conservative tea parties, anti-Obama rallies, and all sorts of other things.

Today there was a group of people marching to the courthouse to sign a petition to stop a Mosque from being built. As I understand it (poorly), there was a counter-protest to this as these people marched from a nearby school into the courthouse.

I got quite a bit of Rutherford county’s ignorance recorded, as well as the typical uninspiring chanting from the liberal college kids of the town. I know quite a few of the pro-Mosque individuals, and they are good people. This isn’t meant to question their methods. Nay, this is merely to allow you a glimpse into the twisted, Islam-hating town that I live.

There’s rednecks. There’s people holding signs. There’s people screaming out things about Afghanistan and how the Muslim people are going to take over America and kill us all.

There’s even a dude wearing a shirt that says ‘infidel’ on it that does the Nazi salute.

The other day, I picked up some shooting games called Deathsmiles and Sin and Punishment 2: Star Successor.

I was under the impression that these were arcade shooters. I was prepared for it to not be like Modern Warfare 2, but I figured it would be like Ikaruga or something. The same people made that awesome arcade puzzle-shooter, so the chances should have been high right?

Nothing could prepare me for how wrong I was.

I turned on my Nintendo Wii Entertainment System and popped out the disc for Wii Sports (I am an ultimate tennis champion, and am practicing to be in the olympics one day). After I put Sin and Punishment 2 in the system, I felt a chill run down my spine.

So I start playing this so-called “arcade shooter” expecting it to be kind of like Area 51, and it was slightly similar. You start out and you can pick from a slightly masculine girl, or a more obvious girl. (Then again, most characters in Japanese games look like girls except in Fist of the North Star). I picked the one that looked more like a dude. According to the manual, Kachi had auto-aim. I think auto-aim makes you look less manly, so I picked the one where I got to actually play the game. I guess Nintendo forced that option into the game, since they know there are so many casuals playing silly games like Metroid and MadWorld who whine and complain if you don’t give them an easy way out.

Me on the other hand, I prefer to do things the 80s way. You know, kick ass and take names without the help of some poorly-written AI.

Proceeding my character selection, I had begun to play the game. It was kinda nice, I got to shoot and kill things. It was a little awkward at first because you had to juggle between flying around and walking around. Treasure (the developer) should make up its mind. There are two kinds of gamer. Those who want to fly around in sci-fi jetpacks, and those who want to walk around while killing hordes of enemies. Treasure should know that everyone who wants to walk around is playing Modern Warfare 2 or Bad Company 2. It’s just common sense. Perhaps there was something lost in translation. In case you couldn’t tell, this is a Japanese game. Japanese people aren’t always the most adept when it comes to making games American gamers want to play.

There were a few cool parts in the training level where I had to jump over different things and dodge lasers. I didn’t like it, but thankfully walking is optional for most of the game.

Sin and Punishment 2 isn’t a bad game. It’s just full of itself. I suppose this is what happens when arcades are a dying breed. No developer can seem to emulate that feeling at home. I also feel let down that the game said it utilized Nintendo’s Wi-fi connection, but only used it for leaderboards. I was hoping for some online co-op so I could totally frag some alien ass with my mates over in Melbourne. No dice.

The next game I got this summer that was supposed to be an ‘arcade shooter’ is called Deathsmiles. I saw some screenshots and it looked cool. It was like R-Type or Ikaruga (my favorite) sort of game with bullets and aliens and such.

I got the package in the mail, and I immediately regretted the purchase. The back of the box said “Deathsmiles at us all. Lolis smile back.” I thought that the lolis were going to be the ones getting death rained down upon them glorious fury in this Xbox 360 exclusive! Like usual, I was wrong. Dead wrong.

In this game you have to play as the lolis! You see, I have much disdain for Gothic Lolita culture. Nearly every lolita I’ve encountered is an ice queen. I figured I’d get to bloody them up or something.

Cave, the developer, doesn’t understand what Americans want. At least Treasure understood the object of our desire, just not the proper location.

Not only does it force you to play as the bane of American society, the game is also pretty short. This should’ve been  1200 points on Xbox Live Arcade. I mean, if a game like Ikaruga can be up there, I don’t see why Deathsmiles can’t be. It’s not like Microsoft charges per bullet. Granted, the limited edition of the game was pretty nice. Soundtracks and a faceplate are always appreciated.

I suppose that was Aksys’ (the publisher) way of trying to calm you down after realizing how short the game is. RPG fans will also be pleased to know that there is a decent amount of choice-making. It’s surprising to see more choice-making in this game than in other popular jRPGs such as Final Fantasy XIII.

The one cool part about Deathsmiles is that you get to defeat a final boss called Tyrannosatan. As a devout Christian and a purveyor of justice, I find the concept of destroying a Satanic dinosaur to be very gratifying. It’s like I’m the one telling Satan not to tempt me while I’m trying to fast in the desert!

I’m not going to tell you to avoid either of these games. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. I wanted to have a summer filled with arcade-style shooting action and was left unsatisfied.